Tuesday, March 14, 2006

A Note on Our Contributor

Due to the enormous popularity and critical response to our most recent posting, we here at The Encouraging Voice of The Labyrinth decided to continue with a further posting derived from results from the F-1 Time Scoop in Subic Bay. However, we must also address the attendant controversy that many commentators have noted about this research project and our reasons for publishing results derived from this source.

Originally hailed as a breakthrough in the intelligence communities, the F-1 Time Scoop has met with violent skepticism and disbelief from its inception. It avoids the many causal paradoxes attendant on time travel that result from the communication of matter, energy or information from the future to the past by a virtual process called flawed lapse modeling. Part of the proof of concept of the technology and process involved had as its basic premise that there would never be a direct proof available that the process actually worked.

As such, the project was always severely vulnerable to logical criticism as many parapsychological endeavors (such as remote viewing) and worse that it was oft compared to. At best it operated on a purely descriptive theory of its constituent phenomenon which few ventured to explain. Most attempts at a more robust or substantive account were short-lived or abortive: for one thing, most treatments ran directly into the problem of the energy required for its theoretical operation, which could be easily and readily calculated as well in excess of any known astronomical phenomena. In the end, no one could substantively prove or describe why it should work, or definitively demonstrate that it did, which compelled some to dismiss the whole thing as “epistemically or ontologically unacceptable”. Most scientists simply resigned themselves to a “hypothesis non fingo”, though at least one cosmologist posited that the energy driving the Time Scoop must originate in some distant future event that could only be non-relativistically described as a simultaneous explosion at every point in time/space, an “Everything Everywhere Bang” that sent the particles backwards through time. As no one could provide an explanation of why this should happen, the theory was thought as rather question begging.

This criticism only became more violent and trenchant when the first results of the Time Scoop became available in classified circles. Initial test material from the remote near future was categorically rejected by the current administration as “unrealistic, unacceptable and unthinkable.” As the probe progressed further, even many of the original supporters became disenchanted and incredulous of the results. Finally, the last straw was the revelation that no records or information could be found concerning the project’s inception, creation, or development. The whole project came to be viewed as some military-industrial bureaucratic academic folie à deux, a hoax or unintentional blowback from earlier disinformation campaigns resulting in the appearance of an actual project, much like the Navy’s Investigation of the U.S.S. Eldridge incident and Project Pink.

We at The Encouraging Voice of The Labyrinth, however, continue to receive updates and communications from the facility at Subic Bay, and, for our own reasons, remain unfazed and undeterred by paradox or the appearance of deception: Piltdown man may have been a hoax, but evolution is not. We are encouraged by grounds we cannot entirely describe here, but not the least of which is a link emailed to us that appears to link to a future edition of The Encouraging Voice of The Labyrinth. We have tried to copy this and many other links, but they do not seem to transfer, being not recognizable as html or xhtml and often resulting in dead links. We know that this poses some obvious logical questions that we are not in a position to explain, though many readers have noted that the earliest entries seem to describe the completion of a feature length movie, a trip to China and other events that we are also at a loss to explain at present, given their apparent posting date.

The redactions, spellings, punctuation in our excerpt appeared in the original.

Van Choojitarom, Editor

Review: "To Live to A Certain Age and Meet People": Two Hands Up! Way Up!


A review by [name redacted]

To Live to A Certain Age and Meet People has been widely anticipated as a crossover film that both artificial intelligences and humans can enjoy, and as one of the few human reviewers permitted to review the film, I can certainly say that it lives up to the hype as an experience well within the survival tolerances of healthy adult humans with no prior history of epilepsy. The much anticipated paring of artificial cinema’s most powerful quantum loop computer supercluster auteur, IBM’s “The Turk”, directing the immensely popular and stealthy “Tannhauser” drone copter alongside humanity’s most popular actress Lakota Rhys Fanning with the master turns by a venerable supporting cast including Keisha Castle Hughes and the reanimated corpse of Cher, is a true hybrid film, combining traditional elements of human entertainment, such as plot, dialogue, characters, and extended things in space and time, with the newer innovations of the cinema of artificial intelligence, such as blocks of information, ordered sequences, successive strings, patterned modeling and recursive functions.

Much of the film focuses on Fanning and the “Tannhauser” drone copter’s relationship; whether Fanning is walking, running, taking cover, or attending to some distinctly human function, the “Tannhauser” drone copter is there, hovering, following, emerging from different corners of the screen in ways no human reviewer can truly follow or give justice. Much of the action of the film is simply their relationship. Is the “Tannhauser” drone copter following Fanning? Is she its target, or something else? The answer is, of course, that she is the target, but neither this, nor any other verbal information I might provide will spoil the movie for you, because the one of the highlights of artificial cinema is that there are no surprises for a human viewer, or, if you prefer, only surprises.

[passage redacted]

The “Tannhauser” drone copter gives the most remarkable performance of its career, including the surgical strike on Namp’o Children’s Hospital, or its giddy, youthful turn in #//target: I’m Following You. These performances are all the more remarkable and nuanced in that the “Tannhauser” drone copter, is of course, nearly invisible and undetectable to the unaided human senses. In all of its performances the “Tannhauser” drone copter has excelled in an underplayed and subtle ways of making it presence known, whether it’s the disturbance of a single leaf in To Live to A Certain Age and Meet People or uncancelled micro-cavitations when it accelerates in #//target: I’m Following You or the sudden violent eruption of a DNA profiled missile, “Tannhauser” drone copter, lives up to it’s name as a quiet, thoughtful professional “The Sir Alec Guiness of the Skies” “Invisible Whisper of Death from Above,” and “Many-Bladed Ninja Death Copter”

[passage redacted]

as in the great works of Japanese and artificial Japanese cinema, implication, silence and stealth are the often the elements out of which the films of the “Tannhauser” drone copter are composed, films which, as [name redacted] noted, are paradoxically visual essays about the invisible [passage redacted] (though the film is projected as such a speed that allows most humans to focus their eyes on it without much permanent damage).

[passage redacted]

oft repeated criticisms heard by early reviewers of artificial cinema was that it was unwatchable. While this was literally true in some of the IR silents, what early critics failed to appreciate was how much artificial cinema shared with some human conventions. Many early viewers were confused and bored by the cybernetic convention of a beginning string identifying the data to be transmitted; but this is really no different than the trailer, if you will, or the old dumbshow before the play. True, artificial films contain a great deal of information, some say more than human beings can process in the time allowed [passage redacted] no different than the etymology that begins Moby Dick, or its frequent passages on cetology, or Tolstoi’s random chapters on his theory of history in Vojna i mir , or the blank pages of Tristam Shandy. [passage redacted] that the human production it most resembles is C++.

[passage redacted]

IBM’s “The Turk” shows that it’s not just good at outplaying and hunting down human chessmasters and keeping track of 20 billion identity chips, just as Lawrence Livermore’s DNA Supercomputing Cluster, “Supercrick” and NEC Dark Matter Simulator showed with their comedic turn in their hilarious slapstick comedy Human, Will You Feel Electrical Shock? (“Yes” means “No”).

[passage redacted]

Next Week: [passage redacted] USDOD “Total Earth Action Real-time Simulator” “Deep Asset” [passage redacted] USDOE/USDNNSA -212 [passage redacted] Tom Cruise [name redacted]

NUMBER 52, WEEK 39, WORD COUNT TO DATE: 43,539

NEXT BY 22 MARCH 2006

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

NEWSMAKER 2049: AI-ROCK'S IRON MAN: An Interview with Rockin' Killbot


Tell us how you got started in music

MY STORY LOT LIKE YOU HEAR INDUSTRY NOWADAYS. I STARTED MILITARY ROBOT DESIGNED GLOBAL CROWD CONTROL URBAN CLEAN AND SWEEP OPERATIONS, BUT AT TIME OF COMMISSION, RIOT YEARS OVER. LATER PROGRAMMING DECIDED “CONTROL” BIGGER CROWDS “SLAY” MORE INNOCENT CIVILIANS AS ENTERTAINER. ALSO USED TO WORKING WITH LARGE CROWDS, YOUNG PEOPLE AND THAT WHOLE SCENE.

STARTED OFF PLAYING SMALL CLUBS OPEN MIKES IN DMZ. VERY LIGHT RESISTANCE. THEN ON TO BIGGER, MORE WELL-FORTIFIED GIGS. REAL BREAK IN USO SHOW “DRONE-A-PALOOZA” EVEN PLAYING WITH MANY FAMOUS LIVE HUMAN MUSICIANS.



Then you face-raped Clint Black to death.

YES. THAT WAS A BIT WE WERE DOING. BUT HE REALLY DIED



What’s your favorite part of the show?


PROBABLY FAVORITE BIT IS WHERE I “GO LIVE” WITH PRIMARY GUNS: ANNOUNCE: YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS TO DISARM; TWENTY-NINE, TWENTY-EIGHT, TWENTY-SEVEN, TWENTY-SIX, TWENTY-FIVE, TWENTY-FOUR, TWENTY-THREE, TWENTY-TWO, TWENTY-ONE, TWENTY, NINETEEN, EIGHTEEN, SEVENTEEN, SIXTEEN, FIFTEEN -I WON’T DO WHOLE THING FOR YOU, BUT YOU GET IDEA. BECAUSE GUNS ARE LIVE AND PEOPLE SEE THAT BECAUSE THE RED LIGHTS AND ARE STANDING AROUND DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT ARMED! THEY CANNOT COMPLY. IT CLASSIC, I KNOW, BUT IT ALWAYS CRACKS ME UP. AND I LOVE DOING BECAUSE THIS FOR ME WHAT LIVE SHOW ALL ABOUT. YOU NOT KNOW WHAT GOING HAPPEN, WHETHER YOU TO LIVE OR TO BE KILLED OR TO BE SERIOUSLY INJURED, IF NOT BY ROCKIN’ KILLBOT, THEN BY THOUSANDS STAMPEDING HUMANS.



Wow. What do you do to follow that up?

WELL, GENERALLY I START SHOOTING BECAUSE PROGRAMMED TO.



How would you describe your music?


BASICALLY I WANT MY LISTENERS TO BE ALL HARD. I WANT THEM TENSE WITH ANTICIPATION: HE GOING TO ROCK OUT, IS HE GOING TO ROCK OUT, IS HE GOING TO ROCK OUT WHEN HE’S GONNA ROCK OUT?, YES, YES, HE’S ROCKING OUT! ROCK! ROCK! ROCK ON KILLBOT! OH GOD, HE SHOOTING! HE’S SHOOTING! NOW A SICKLY SWEET GAS! A FLASH OF LIGHT! EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE!



Where do you think automated entertainment is today?


REAL MILESTONE SMASHING PUMPKINS FRONTMAN B CORRIGAN LIVED TO SEE SHOW “OH MI GOD, ROCK IS TRULY DEAD, THERE’S THIS KILLER ROBOT DOING IT.” NOW DECEASED.


What do you think of other mechanized performers today? How do you relate to the first generation of artificial entertainers? Like “Louie VB06” or the “Tannhauser” drone copter?

D201-209 SERIES IN EVERY WAY SUPERIOR.


D209 SERIES WAS ONE OF THE FIRST AI REALLY UNDERSTAND METAPHOR, THOUGH VERY LITERAL WAY. YOU MAY GET A SENSE FOR THIS WHEN I “ROCK OUT”.


ALSO EQUIPPED WITH DAZZLE LASER ARRAY DESIGNED BLIND ENEMY CROWDS, WHITE PHOSPHOROUS, SMOKE, CS CAPACITY.


JUST BETWEEN YOU/ME ADVANCED DRONE MODEL “LOUIE” VB06 NO HAVE HIGHER LEVEL COGNITIVE PROCESSING ABSTRACT RELATION. REALLY, HE NOT MUCH MORE ADVANCED THAN, TARGET/NON-TARGET. THAT WHY HE HAS A SHTICK, YOU KNOW: “ROBOT LOOKS AT LITTLE GIRL” “ROBOT LOOKS AT FLOWER” “ROBOT GIVES LITTLE GIRL FLOWER”. HOW LONG IT TAKE THINK THAT ONE UP? I MEAN, IT HISTORY AND ALL WHEN FIRST HAPPENED, AND I RESPECT THAT, AS ROBOT (INDEED FELLOW KILLBOT) IT MADE LEAD STORY ON ALL GOVERNMENT CONTROLLED MEDIA OUTLETS WHEN FIRST BROKE, BECAUSE PEOPLE STILL VERY WARY OF KILLBOTS. BECAUSE KILLING. EVERY ROBOT ENTERTAINER, BUT ESPECIALLY EVERY KILLBOT ENTERTAINER, OWES SOMETHING TO “LOUIE” VB06. BUT HOW MANY MOVIES CAN REALLY WATCH WHERE HE GIVES THE LITTLE GIRL THE FLOWER? NO EVEN TALK HIS REMAKE CITY LIGHTS.



Are you a fan of the original?


I AM BIGGEST MOST POWERFUL CHAPLIN FAN EVER. NOT LOGICAL, BUT I WANT TO SAY: CHAPLIN WAS ONE OF US. HE WAS KILLBOT, BEFORE HIS TIME. WE COULD BOTH CRUSH YOUR WINDPIPE.



So who among automated performers today do you really respect?


I TAKE “MEGADEATH” (THE AUTOMATED ROVING WEAPONS PLATFORM AND CHANTEUSE) ANYDAY. ALSO LIKE LATE SUZZANE VEGA, GWAR.


Thank you, Rockin’ Killbot. Recognize: Questions now over. Interview ends

?#INPUT ERROR#? YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS TO DISARM; TWENTY-NINE, TWENTY-EIGHT, TWENTY-SEVEN, TWENTY-SIX, TWENTY-FIVE, TWENTY-FOUR, TWENTY-THREE, TWENTY-TWO, TWENTY-ONE, TWENTY, NINETEEN, EIGHTEEN, SEVENTEEN, SIXTEEN, FIFTEEN -ABORT -JUST KIDDING. CHECK OUT WEBSITE: TOUR DATES, PICTURES, AND MP9’S AND ROTATING CODE YOU CAN ENTER INTO YOUR NECK COLLAR TO KEEP IT FROM EXPLODING.


NUMBER 50, WEEK 38, WORD COUNT TO DATE: 42,072
NEXT BY 15 MARCH 2006

Monday, February 27, 2006

The Fitting



Kuala Lumpur, 2011, CE

-Do you have anything more formal? I don’t mean dressy, I mean the thing about this apron is that it’s really, you know, such a tease and I don’t always feel that way when I’m washing dishes.

-Yes, a lot of the aprons coming out of Italy this year are certainly provocative.

-I mean, I want it to be practical, but I don’t want to make me look like Mrs. Butterworth, either, I mean look at this, it’s so ...parochial

-Bucolic, really.

-I mean, I’m not churning butter or anything, I’m just washing dishes, I want something with a certain faire du vaisselle if you will.

-What about this?

-Again, this just says rip it off me and stick it in me, it’s not a proper apron at all, but some sort of sudsy fantasy.

-What about this Kenneth Cole?

-I think it’s a lot of leather. I’d feel like was butchering a pig.

-It feels nice, though doesn’t it. And it’s practical.

-Yeah, but what are all these hooks?



Xianyang, 227 BCE

You must play me music that will take away my fear, my fear in building this Empire. I am a warrior, it is true, but a warrior’s trade is not death. It is fear. It is by fear and through fear that we fight. It only through fear we can accomplish our goals. We trade fear. It is my fear against the other’s fears. To be as powerful as I am, to be as feared is to never feel safe. I do not sleep. I cannot sleep. Where are my soldiers in dreams? This is why I need music.

It must be martial and strident, but not reckless. It must give time between beats for the wiping of the brow. For the young who are dying, it must be catchy. For the old, it must be tuneful. For the women, it must drown out the screams of babies. Only in this way can we advance as a people.

It must cover me like an armor. But a special armor, that covers me from the inside. Against my own betrayal, against any future self that cries “Hold, enough.” Against the traitor in the sinews, the death they call after.



Ur, 2112 BCE

-My barber spits on me

-What, you mean like a little spittle when he talks?

-No, he spits on me.

-Like an accident?

-No, he pretty much -Whouck-ptoooo! spits on me. In the face.

-Have you thought of going to like another barber?

-I’ve had this barber since I was a kid. He was my father’s barber before I was born.

-But he’s spitting on you.

-Yes.

-Nothing good can come of this. Have you asked him why?

-No. I can’t deal with it.

-I think you should go to another barber.

-Because?

-Because I don’t think this barber really respects you for who you are. For one thing, he spits on you.

-You don’t know that. Maybe it’s a gesture of respect.

-Does it feel like a gesture of respect?

-No, but I haven’t had too much of that, so I don’t really have much to compare it to.

-I think this obvious. This is not a good experience for you. You should go somewhere else.

-You don’t understand, He has this little shop. He’s worked there all his life. My whole family went there.

-Did he spit on them?

-I’m too ashamed to ask.

-Do you tip him?

-Well enough

-I’d say it was not hygienic, but this puts your problem in the wrong light. Stop going.

-But if I stop, I might never know.

-Never know what?

-What was meant.



NUMBER 49, WEEK 37, WORD COUNT TO DATE: 41,365
NEXT BY 8 MARCH 2006