Thursday, July 07, 2005

From the LA Film Festival: The Lincoln Hunters

“The Lincoln Hunters” is a Japanese TV program (loosely based on the novel by Wilson Tucker) which had its American premiere this festival as a short film. Though the result suffers in continuity from its editing and is inaccurately dubbed, the Encouraging Voice of the Labyrinth recommends it strongly if it comes to your area, or out on DVD.

from THE LINCOLN HUNTERS: EPISODE 1: PREMISE.
By cloning Lincoln they thought we we all be beneficiaries of his wisdom, his compassion, his leadership
What went wrong?
Nothing went wrong. Lincoln is evil. Pure unadulterated evil!
Not all are sentient, most are just like this monster here, just empty evil top-hatted bisexual husks with the desire to kill and destroy. The others have varying degrees of intellect and awareness. Different configurations and powers.
Number 16
The 16th copy of the 16th President. As brilliant, charming and tall as the original. Pure Evil. Number 16 must be destroyed.
We think that Number 16 somehow engineered the whole accident. And World War V.
In the last days of the Civil War both sides were working on time machines. The Confederate time machine sought to reverse the Battle of Gettysburg. The Union Time Machine was designed to go deeper, to eliminate all black people.
As all humanity emerged from Africa, it is a good thing that the latter was stopped.
That’s what makes this Lincoln so dangerous. His Negrophobia has become a hatred of mankind. Fueled by his homophobia.
The early Civil War Era time machines were crude. They used static electricity and pieces of felt. They couldn’t send over heavy dense metals.
You had to go through naked?
Naked? No, you could wear a barrel.
They called us the Barrel Corps
Later, it turned out you could send heavy dense metals
The people running the machine think they’re pretty funny
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
They really got off on it.
We’re getting a distress signal from the recreational gynoid factory on Talos IV
You mean the fuckbot factory?
I’m really not comfortable with that term

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Of course, ze whole point of a doomsday machine iss lost--IF YOU KEEP IT A ZECRET!