My Sexy Spring

Good Clone, Bad Clone

This workshop will explore the erotic possibilities of clones, which the presenter knows little about, but finds really hot.

Who or what would you clone? Yourself? What would you make your clone do? Would you clone someone to watch? An exciting introduction to the possibilities of clone play. Also discussed, the possibility of clones replacing orignals, deceiving partners and what to do if your clone is better in bed and more popular than you are.

Please note: current technology allows only the cloning of dogs, cats and sheep.



Werewolf Sex

Hot, sweaty, biting and furry, werewolf sex is drenching itchy sex by the naked light of the full moon. Learn to howl with an actual lycanthrope.

Don't settle for sex with just animals or mere humans: werewolf sex is raw, unpredictable and dangerous and will leave you soaked, trembling and smelling vaguely like your dog's sweater.

Covered: that "dog" smell.

Not covered: Silver bullets, full moons and other lies. Vampires, mummies, zombies.



Shrink Ray

Are you size-curious? Would you like to get small, or are there things you’d like to do with tiny people? Really tiny people? The kind that maybe need a submarine to get around inside of you? Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Both shrinkers and shrinkees are welcome in this workshop which will explore all the many important technical challenges and Lilliputian rewards of macro/micro play. Whether your final destination is Lilliput or Brobdingnag, the Shrink Ray workshop should be your first stop. Special emphasis on safe adventures, escape procedures, what to say at the doctor’s office.



Is My Gay Robot Really Gay?

This workshop will address the tricky question posed by many robot owners whose robots are programmed, labeled or identify as “gay”: is my “gay” robot really “gay” or just programmed to? Topics discussed include free will and determinism, identity politics, late Foucault, the whole tin can phenomenon. Robots and their owners are encouraged to attend. Gay supercomputers are covered in another workshop: Help, My Gay Supercomputer Is Always Right And Running My Life!

Discussed: C3PO, K.I.T.T., V.I.N.C.E.N.T., Hymie from Get Smart, Gaybot 2,000,000, Lesbotron, Lt. Cmdr. Data, The Death Star. Was Robot from Lost in Space really gay?

Not discussed: Gay robots.



Bug Sex
Bug sex is hot. You live for like a day and go around tasting everything. It doesn’t get dirtier or sluttier than this. Bugs get swatted, crushed and some of them kill and/or eat their mates = H -O -T. Discussed: How to get a waterbed shaped like a dried-up slice of runny pizza, having thousands and thousands of maggots.



How to Masturbate Like a Supreme Court Judge

You know they do it. What do you think is under their robes? Discussed: Death penalty, suspension of habeas corpus.



The Sensual Cave Man

How to “dumb down” your foreplay. Fire or No Fire? Beyond the monobrow.



Help, My Gay Supercomputer Is Always Right And Running My Life!

This workshop has been cancelled.



Are you a female looking for another partner or for the Joy of Kissing workshop? Please consider this man. Has own toothbrush. Respectful and considerate. Likes: kissing. Friendly, open, will respect boundaries. Leave a message or call.






The ancient tradition that the world will be consumed in fire at the end of six thousand years is true, as I have heard from Hell.

For the cherub with his flaming sword is hereby commanded to leave his guard at the tree of life, and when he does, the whole creation will be consumed and appear infinite and holy whereas it now appears finite & corrupt.

This will come to pass by an improvement of sensual enjoyment.

-WILLIAM BLAKE

TURN NUMBER 67: REPORT FROM THE FIELD; WORDS: 58,114

NEXT BY 28 JUNE 2006