THE LAST DAYS OF VAN ON EARTH: 1. The Wrap: Section A

“Show me the Roman Breast Plate”
It must be cruel. It must be magnificent.
“Are those real leather straps?” I must have real leather straps. They must be tight.
“This is heavy. I am not sure it is heavy enough. Bring me some metal plates, sandbags on ropes.”
“I’m not sure we have any.”
“You’re a full service professional costumer. You have them. Go get them.”
“Van, I’m not sure the Romans would have used leather there.”
“It must be heavy! It must be tight. It’s my wrap party, Tom. I must show them. Show them all what we have done. Oil that statue.”
In the end I am too heavy. I cannot move. Yes, I say, let me be carried. Let me be carried like one of the old gods. The features of animals and men came together in the old gods. The features of animals and men came together in the old gods. In the end, I have to take off the sandbags because the guy who own the stretch limo complains. “God-damn you, man, don’t you have orgies with like thirty people in this thing?” “A lot of those people don’t weigh very much.”